What Is My Purpose in Life?
In order to figure out your life’s purpose, first, you must live it.
That’s a big question.
I often hear it from people, especially those in their late 20s and 30s, who are going through an existential crisis. What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do with my life? These questions can feel overwhelming.
My invitation to you is this: what do you think your life is supposed to look like? And who or where did you get those ideas?
I remember feeling really lost in my 20s and 30s. When I compared myself to others, I felt behind. People around me seemed happy in their careers, settled in relationships, and moving forward with clear direction. Meanwhile, I wasn’t happy in my corporate job. I was in a relationship that wasn’t working, and eventually, it ended. I changed careers—more than once—and with each change came more student loans. I felt like I was falling further and further behind. Anyone else?
If you’re feeling lost right now, I want to encourage you to try things.
I was listening to a podcast interview where Jamie Lee Curtis said that if you don’t know your life’s purpose, go out and live—volunteer, try things, experience love and life. That really resonated with me.
We often believe that our purpose is one singular thing—that we’re supposed to just know. But I don’t think that’s true. I believe our purpose can evolve. It can be many things over time. And more importantly, I think our purpose is rooted in the impact we have on others.
Years ago, I attended a talk by Oprah Winfrey. She shared something that stayed with me: when people ask about their purpose, she encourages them to look back at their lives and notice common themes.
For example, if people always come to you because you’re a great organizer—you plan events, coordinate gatherings, and bring people together. That’s a thread. That’s something meaningful. How can you use that thread and do something you love?
I don’t think your life purpose has to be a job title. Instead, look at the elements that show up again and again: what you love doing, what you’re naturally good at, and how you show up for others.
When I reflect on my own life, a few themes stand out.
People come to me to talk. Friends confide in me. Even when I worked at a bank, my role involved listening, solving problems, and supporting others. Those elements—being a good listener, holding space, helping people work through challenges—eventually led me to become a therapist.
Don’t be afraid to try something and change direction if it doesn’t work out. What we often call “failure” is really just experience. Every relationship, job, or creative project teaches you something. The question is: what did you learn, and how can you carry that forward?
When I worked with couples, I would often say, “Going to therapy doesn’t guarantee you’ll stay together. It means that if the relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll leave with a deeper understanding of your patterns—so you can move forward more consciously.”
So if you’re struggling to figure out what you’re “supposed” to do, start small.
Can you volunteer?
Check in on an elderly neighbour?
Bake something and share it with friends?
Try a creative hobby you’ve been curious about?
Think about your values. What matters most to you?
For me, kindness and being of service are core values. So I ask myself: how can I live those values day to day?
Purpose doesn’t have to be grand. It can be lived in small, meaningful moments.
I know that when you’re in the middle of an existential crisis—or stuck in a job you don’t love—it can feel incredibly hard to see the next step. But that’s all you need to focus on: the next step.
It doesn’t have to be big.
Maybe it’s talking to your manager about trying something new.
Maybe it’s learning a skill that could open doors later.
And if you can’t change your job right now because you need the income—that’s real—can you find joy outside of it?
For example, with everything happening in the world, I decided to spend more time gardening this year. I have a small balcony, so I’m growing tomatoes, carrots, and potatoes in pots. It’s simple, but it brings me joy.
If you have a bigger dream—like becoming a writer or a speaker—ask yourself why. What draws you to that path? Is it about sharing ideas, connecting with others, and making an impact?
If so, can you start small?
Write and share your thoughts.
Join a writing group.
Volunteer your skills for a nonprofit.
Take small steps toward that vision.
And finally, I invite you to reflect on this:
What do you believe it means about you if you are living your life’s purpose?
Do you think you’ll feel more loved? More worthy? More confident?
Maybe it’s not so much about purpose as about passion. What are you passionate about?
If that’s the case, it might be worth exploring those beliefs more deeply—perhaps through therapy. Because your worth isn’t something you earn by finding your purpose.
You are already enough.
📞 If you need help with your mental health, contact me today. Book a free 15-minute consultation.